Strange Intimacy

My husband and I moved into our current apartment a few weeks ago, and while I love its many windows, abundant light and bright, cheerful wall paint, it comes with one annoyance - no washing machine in the building. For the first time in my life, when I need clean clothes, I have to walk a few blocks away to a public laundromat and sort through my smalls in front of strangers.

So that is what I did last night. My hubby was busy working so I trooped down to the laundromat with our little grandma trolley full of dirty clothes and a good book to read while I sat on the machines waiting.

Maybe it's just me, but public laundromats are kind of creepy. Last night I was finding it very odd to sit and watch a complete stranger's underwear go round and round in the dryer. I started trying to imagine the kind of person who would wear orange polka-dotted socks and pink striped underpants. (Turns out it's a young 20-something girl with short hair pulled back into two pigtails. That was probably an easy guess.)

I cannot for the life of me bring myself to drop off my laundry and go home to wait like some people do. How can they leave such personal belongings in full view of strangers and un-babysat? What if someone with a weird undergarment fetish comes in and rifles through their things? Or, worse still, makes off with something?

Call me old-fashioned if you want, but it seems like a personal violation to have people observe my underwear, watch me sort socks and separate things that can go in the dryer versus things to be hung up. Then again, I also find it shocking that people have such private conversations on their cell phones in public places and think nothing of it (note to loud cell phone talkers out there: if you don't want strangers to stare at you when you're on the phone, don't have a loud conversation about your recent doctor's appointment on the bus).

Perhaps it's because some pieces of technology feel like they create a private space around you, so that you forget that others can see into that space. I'm also willing to bet that some people are fully aware of their exhibitionism and simply don't care, or even encourage it. After all, reality television continues to grow in popularity despite the overabundance of shows about nothing. It seems that people simply like to observe other people going about their lives.

Perhaps we are naturally all voyeurs in one way or another. After all, I admittedly was watching the laundromat girl's underwear tumble dry for a good 10 minutes. But when she came back to claim her dry clothes, I did feel guilty and ashamed, as though I had just escaped being caught doing something reprehensible. Some part of me did think that looking at someone else's underwear was perverted and wrong, even though it was too small a part to make me look away.

I guess I just believe that some things are meant to be kept private and not aired in public. And my underwear falls firmly into that category. I will never again take an in-house washing machine for granted.

Free Falling

"Everyone has dreamed of flying at some point in their lives. Well, maybe not everyone. I know there are some people who believe that humans were meant to live a two-dimensional life, and that if we were meant to fly we would have been born with wings. But I have always longed for the freedom of that third dimension. It represents the means to escape, to go where my worries can't reach me. It also means complete freedom of movement - the ability to tumble in any direction I please without restrictions.

When I was little I would frequently dream of flying, usually in the middle of a dream where I was lonely or sad. When whatever situation I was in became too much, I would run to an open space outside and start jumping up and down. In my dreams, if I jumped high enough I would break free of gravity's hold on me and rise up gently to a few metres above the ground. Once airborne, I could fly around like Superman, soaring through the air as high and as fast as my heart desired, then turning to plummet towards the ground, twisting sideways at the last second into a corkscrew spin up and away again. I might fly high over cities and watch the busied scurrying of cars below me, study the networks of buildings and roads. Or I might fly over bushland, pale green and grey, scrubby brush broken by the occasional eucalypt and patches of red-brown earth, silent and still under the bright midday sun."

I wrote the above piece to insert into a story I was developing, but it's actually a truthful reminiscence of dreams I had many times as a child. Flying remans my biggest fantasy, the superpower I would choose and the technology I would develop if I were capable. So it's not surprising that skydiving is hands down the best thing I've ever done. Aside from marrying my wonderful husband, obviously (love you, babe). But as an independent activity, free falling through so much open space is the most exhilirating, wish-fulfilling, liberating experience I've ever had and one I'm keen to repeat as soon as sufficient resources make it possible.

This being my first attempt at blogging and my first ever public posting, I thought I'd introduce myself by way of my favourite thing. Other facts about me:

I'm an Australian environmental engineering PhD student living in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. I've been here three years and have another 2-3 (hopefully closer to 2) years to go before I can get that oh-so-valuable piece of paper and the handshake and wear one of those cool gowns.

I would love to be able to describe myself as an outdoors enthusiast and wild adventurer, but the sad truth is that I am an urbanite and rarely venture out into the wilderness. I have aspirations to change this situation however.

I am afraid of only two things - riding bicycles, and playing volleyball. I realise these fears may seem irrational, and I'm ok with that.

My favourite kind of food is warm and chewy. I really dislike crunchy food and anything either very hot or very cold. Yes, I'm already practising for the age when I lose my teeth. The one exception to this is refridgerated chocolate - preferably dark, but really any kind will do as long as it's of good quality.

I have a strong interest in issues related to poverty, the environment and opportunities (or lack thereof) available to women and children. I'm an active member of my university's Engineers Without Borders chapter and am always looking to learn more about the reasons why these issues persist today and what can be done to solve them.

And finally, I absolutely adore storytelling and have a very active imagination. I believe that storytelling is a primary component of what makes us human and enables us to understand the world. I think storytelling is present in the way we do science, interpret the natural world, teach our children and, as adults, explain ourselves to others as well as to ourselves. I'm a very reluctant reader of biographies and tend to avoid documentary films, but love to seek out new fictional writing and filmmaking.

I have no idea what I'm going to end up posting on this blog, or even how frequently I will use it. I'm still kind of wary of blogging - it seems perverse, narcissistic and voyeuristic - and am using this blog more as a way to encourage myself to write more frequently than with any expectations that someone will actually read it.

And so, with that not-particularly-auspicious opening, I'm off to make a cup of tea and get down to some real writing...wish me luck.